


Love and Mercy

by oolongteawithpudding



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Gen, Hawkeye literally trying to outrun his problems, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28952262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oolongteawithpudding/pseuds/oolongteawithpudding
Summary: Thanks to CaptainAFAB for beta reading!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Love and Mercy

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to CaptainAFAB for beta reading!

Sometimes, the state of the 4077th perplexed Hawkeye. Even though it was the dead of night, there were still people walking, laughing behind the screens of their tents. It made him feel like a ghost, a dead man wandering among people so alive. He was just out of surgery, having thrown off his scrubs and donned his winter coat a few minutes prior. There was only one thought inside his head at that point: _walk._ So he did. His legs felt like wind-up toys, numb in the cold, supported by semi-tied boots. He walked past the motor pool, and was tempted to walk further—into the minefield—but he made a hairpin turn right back into camp. All around were the sounds of fun. He could not stand it, he _would_ not stand it. He put his hood up, and the wind whistled in his ears.

_Casualties._

Hawkeye shook his head. The wind said crazy things sometimes. He trudged along, passing by Igor’s tent, Klinger’s tent, the latrine- it was like counting sheep; he could fall asleep if he carried on like this. Inside a tent somewhere, someone was playing a jazzy record.

_"Help me!"_

He stopped in his tracks, then kept going, faster this time. The wind couldn’t catch him if he moved quickly. He put down his hood, baring his face to the cold.

_Screaming._

Margaret’s tent. The nurse’s tent. Ginger, Kellye, Able, Baker, Cutler, Bannerman, Bigelow, yes, all there. Every one of them, in their tents.

_A panicked nurse Kellye._

He should move on from this part of camp. There was no point in dwelling there. He picked up the pace again, moving past more tents. He didn’t care whose they were. He passed storage, with its big faux-terrain camouflage tent overhead. He wanted to rip it down. They were a hospital, they shouldn’t need it.

_A bone-chilling wail._

They were a _hospital,_ and that meant saving people. That’s what they did. The O.R. lights glowed bright ahead of him, a beacon in the darkness, but all Hawkeye could feel was contempt. He looked down at the ground.

_Blood on his shoes._

He could see the Swamp now. All he had to do was get there, and everything would stop.

_“Nae agi!”_

Hawkeye burst through the Swamp door, breathing heavily, eyes watering. B.J. closed his book, quickly sitting Hawkeye down, arm around his shoulder.

“She-“ Hawkeye started.

“I know.”

B.J. rubbed his back, head bowed in sadness. Hawkeye shook his head.

“We have to have a funeral for it, we have to do _something_!” he shouted in anguish.

“I think that’s a good idea,” B.J. said solemnly. “We can do it tomorrow morning, and have Father Mulcahy say a prayer, if you want.”

Hawkeye nodded, and buried his head into B.J.’s chest, body shaking, his sobs finally free.

**Author's Note:**

> The Korean text means "My baby!"


End file.
